Bike + Breean = Bad Ass (well kinda...)

No...this isn't me...

                                                                 and neither is this...

...but it should be! 

I've always wondered what it would be like to ride a motorcycle and now I know...

After riding the first couple of times with Brian, I immediately felt like I should be robbing a bank, shooting at mobsters, being chased by cops or scheduling an appointment to get a tramp stamp tattoo. 

(Brian quickly told me there would be no tramp stamps on his bike)

I don't know if it's the speed or the bike attire, but there's something about it that makes me feel like I could have easily been casted as Cameron Diaz in "Knight and Day." Easily...

The only thing I can't figure out is how to take my helmet off and have that "movie star flowing hair." 

You know, the kind that is blowing in the wind and looks exactly like it did before you smooshed it into a helmet, sweated and then let the wind have it's way for a good half hour. Yeah, that kind. 

Something else I have learned is not to point at things that I would normally point out in the car. For example...we were on our way to my dad's and I noticed that this new sushi place was opening up. I got excited..and (naturally) pointed it out to Brian. Little did I know, that he thought I was pointing for him to turn. My bad! Now I just keep my hands down and remember to tell him about the sushi bar opening!!

So now that you know that riding on a bike makes me feel like...well, kind of a bad ass...here I am!

This IS me (on the back)...just clarifying since Christin said you couldn't even tell I was a girl...

....and yes...I am smiling under the helmet (like a total dork)! 

It's not THAT hard...

It goes without saying that my name is brutally mispronounced on a daily basis. I mean, I've been called everything from Fran, Brian, Bren and Bran (yes, like the Flake). Someone actually said (after I corrected them) "Oh, good...I was wondering what kind of parents would name their kid Bran..." Really?? It especially used to surprise me when my teachers/professors could pronounce names like Tahaiesa or Mikhail...but I get it. It's just different...and I'm totally ok with it! I just thought I would take this opportunity to share the meaning(s) behind my names and why they are what they are. Here ya go...no more excuses!!

Breean (Celitc. Meaning: Strong One): The correct pronunciation (that my parents and family use) is Bree-un. Because I wasn't born in the South and my mom is not Southern, there is no accent on my name. It wasn't until we moved to South Carolina that my name turned to Bree-Anne. If you have met my family you will notice that they all call me Bree-un. I will answer to both but not to Breeana or Breen...just an FYI. My name is actually misspelled, too. The "correct" spelling is Brianne but my parents forgot how to spell it when I was born and just made something up. Don't hold it against them...a woman in labor for 24 hours can spell their child's name however they want!! According to some English professors of mine, it's grammatically incorrect, too. The "English language" says that you aren't allowed to have three vowels together. Stupid...who really cares...I was named after the actress Brianne Leary. Apparently she had some rolls in "Chips" and a few other TV shows, but I don't know anything else about her. I have met a few other people with the same name as me (spelled differently of course) but, nonetheless, we are all super cool people. I have also noticed that there are very few people who spell my name correctly. They can pronounce it right, but spelling is a whole other ball game. I've seen Breeann, BreAnne, Brean...not that it matters, the "you spelled that wrong" line comes up under all of them on the computer! Despite the fact that I can never find my name on souvenirs or trinkets such as key chains, coffee mugs or note pads...I really like having a different name. It's turned out to be a great conversation-starter!

Caroline (Latin. Meaning: Beautiful Woman): My middle name. Probably one of the most common names in North AND South Carolina but I love the meaning behind my middle name. My dad is originally from SC while my mom is from "The Great" Pacific Northwest. They had all three of us in California where we were raised for a few years. When I was born, my dad never thought he would live in South Carolina again and gave me the name "Caroline" so that he always had a piece of home close to him. Atleast, that's the story I've been told. I don't care if it's not true...I love it! I wasn't named Caroline because I was born here or because it's the most common "southern belle" name in the South, but because my dad wanted me to have more than just his last name...he wanted me to continue his southern tradition.

Tate (English. Meaning: He Who Brings Happiness): First of all, let me clarify...I am not related to Sharon Tate. I get asked that on the regular. Like I was affected by the Marilyn Manson spree or something...not so much. Anyways, I have to spell out "Tate" probably as much as I have to spell out and correct "Breean." I have had numerous people spell it "Tait"or "Tayte." The worst...? Yes, I have had people pronounce it "Taint." A girl at the tanning bed wrote "Taint" down on the sign in sheet...I looked at her and said "...Really...?? Come on!!" Another interesting rendition to my last name is when I worked at the hotel. The Spanish-speaking housekeepers kept pronouncing it Ta-Te'... somehow I can understand that alot more than "Taint." Geeeezzzz.....!! Come on people!!

So now, I would like to thank all who have tried (and few who have succeeded) at pronouncing and spelling my name(s) correctly. I greatly appreciate it!

Keep it going!! What does your name mean? Funny stories? Come on...SHARE!

10 Things I am Currently Sick Of...

I don't get annoyed quite as easy as some do, but there are certainly plenty of things that I am sick of. I am not perfect (by any means) so I am not preaching here...simply my opinions.
Here are my top 10 (in no particular order)...

#1. How society has created this idea that "if it makes you feel good do it..." There are no boundaries or standards set anymore...especially for kids. Whether it is respect for elders, "experimenting" with your sexuality, popping pills like it's a Pez dispenser or settling for second best. There's always an excuse for something or a prescription to hand out because someone is a little unhappy with the way things are. It's LIFE! It's not supposed to be fun all the time. No one promised you rainbows.

#2. Obama...no explanation necessary.

#3. Foursquare on Facebook. I don't care where you are ALL the time. But if were a stalker, I would absolutely love to follow your every move. From your parent's house...to McDonald's....to work...to home...Is it all really necessary?

#4. Listening to people continue to use the excuse of the economy as to the reason they have been "feeding" off unemployment for 3, 4, 5 years. Really?!? Get off your lazy butt and get a freaking job at Burger King. I was unemployed for six months and, if you apply yourself, you can find a job.

#5. Beiber hair. I understand it's "trendy" but just cut your hair and stop flipping it to one side. Just because all the girls are screaming hysterically over Justin Beiber...doesn't mean they are going to scream over you because you have the same hair style.

#6. Hearing how horrible bullying is. Now, I don't think bullying is right, but I think that's part of growing up. I was bullied...everyone probably has been. And you learn to "be the bigger person." Yes, there were days in middle and high school I would go home and cry, but you either learn how the be the best at revenge or you just move on. I know there wasn't social media or smart phones when I was growing up, but there was still plenty of mean things to do to people. It helps you grow up, become a stronger person, and get ready for LIFE.

#7. Everyone trying to figure out the "best" way to loose weight. Why don't you just work out and eat better?? Seriously...you don't need this huge crash diet, these pills, those shakes...I understand everyone is different and some things don't work for everyone, but now that shows like"The Biggest Loser" have shown us that being committed to diet and exercise work...why not try it!?!

#8. Whiners. I can't handle the people that whine about everything. I mean, people who complain about it being too cloudy one day and too bright the next....Things are as bad as YOU make them...I bet if you looked at life as "the glass is half full" you will be alot happier.

#9. Cold weather!! I am so ready for Spring and Summer! Bring on the Bar-B-Q's, pool side weekends and sun dresses!

#10. Bad movies. It's been hard to find a good movie recently. They all seem to (a) either have the same story line or (b) are so cheesy I can't stand it! Hopefully, those Hollywood people stop being so predictable and...weird!!

Catfish, Cranes & Crosswords

This weekend Adam invited me to go night fishing with him at a lake that supposedly is full of catfish.

Now, to the normal person a catfish might be a foot...foot-and-a-half long, right? Well, I did. Atleaset until I walked up to the building in front of the lake and saw pictures of a 6-foot catfish! Apparently these horrible looking things are like gold fish and grow as big as their surroundings allow. Learn something new every day...huh?!

Another thing I learned Saturday is that I adapt quite well to new surroundings. Like the outside, for example.

If you don't know already I prefer make-up, heels and my heat set at 70 degrees. My sister claims all the outdoor, sporty and athletic genes that were allotted for the Tate children...but I'm okay with that. I can make it work when necessary. So, back to my impeccable outdoor adaptation skills. We got to the lake around 5:30 that evening and set-up "camp" as I would like to refer to it (only because I don't know all the technical terms for Adam's fishing tools). It was chilly, but it was so nice to get away from everything for a brief time and enjoy eachother's company. We cast out our three rods and waited.

  And waited.

       And waited.

I had only been fishing once in my life (years ago) prior to Saturday, so the time that you have to set aside for just waiting was astounding. I was sure that the chicken livers and shrimp would scream "here fish-y, fish-y" the instant it settled. Wrong. Don't get me wrong, I had no where to be, no one waiting on me and I was excited to spend time with Adam while learning new things. I was just concerned that maybe catfish migrate or know the "fish hook drill." I was told neither hypothesis was correct. Although we went to the lake to catch catfish, we ended up being entertained by a few other things.

One of the first things we noticed when we set up "camp" was that this place

was apparently a Mecca for all stray cats. I love cats. I have two. But when there are about seven cats and two kittens watching you for hours, it becomes a bit uneasy. One black cat would perch next to me and just stare. I felt like it was reading my mind! The white cat would sit in front of Adam and do the same...weird. Although the cats starring at us and eating the majority of our bait when we walked to the other side of the lake is entertaining, that is not the main cat story. Like I said, there were two kittens. One was lively and easily entertained. But it was the second one that broke my heart. It was laying under the porch all night crying like a baby. I've heard cats make just about every noise, but this noise was painstakingly sad. Every time it would try to get up, it would shiver and fall back down. The palm-sized kitten was extremely sick. It cried for hours without any of the other cats coming to it's aid. We walked by it towards the end of the night and I put the rest of the chicken livers next to it's mouth and gave her a nudge. She just started crying and could not get up. Her body was nothing but fur and  bones. I am sure that she died that night. The most interesting thing about that heartbreaking scene was that despite the  kittens cries for help, not one of the cats would go near it. Their instincts kept them at a distance as if they didn't want to get "sick" either...so sad to watch but ironically very interesting.

We were still waiting for a fish. Just one!! One that I was almost dreading to see. I honestly did not want to pull a 6-foot anything out of the water. We knew they were interested only because every time we reeled in, our bait was gone... but nothing. It did become quite funny when the crane came out of the woods,though. Because I am not very good at estimating things(time, weight, length, distance...numbers) I am going to say that the crane was also 6-feet-ish. Mostly legs  (think Heidi Klum) but still a huge bird. It would walk slowly out into the water and just stand there. For what seemed like hours. Then all of a sudden it would snap it's beak into the water and come up with a fish! What?!? Wait...we had been  sitting outside for hours with bobbers, bells, chicken livers, shrimp and expensive fishing rods and this bird comes out of the woods...empty handed...and grabs two fish without breaking a sweat?! I was perplexed to say the least. I understand that it's nature and all, but I still think that bird was just showing off.

Thankfully, I could avert my attention from the non-existent catfish, the crying kitten and the cocky crane to my crossword puzzle. Come to find out, Adam and I are a good crossword puzzle team. He is better at them than I am so I focused on the easy puzzles.  Six of them to be exact. Only interrupting the silence to ask what a butter imitation is or what the word for a Russian czar is. I munched on chex mix, beef jerky and my faithful Mt. Dew throughout the night until the chill started to settle in. We casted out a dozen times over the hours and walked around the lake a few times to get our blood pumping. Around 11:00 Adam's step dad stopped by to check on us and helped Adam get some fire wood. I was totally impressed when Adam walked out of the woods with a tree. Yes, you read that correctly. He knocked over this old rotted tree that was also around 6 feet-ish and carried it over to our "camp."

The only time I panicked was when Adam was in the woods getting firewood and I heard the "alert" bell-thingy on my rod.  Adam had attached it to my rod because my bobber didn't have a light on it and I would know when something was "hooked."  Neat little contraption, I must say. It was loud enough to interrupt my deep thoughts about what a North American deer is  called while I was working on my 5th crossword puzzle of the night. So,I stood up, focused on my bobber...than my bell...then my bobber again. It rang again! Oh my gosh! Adam and his step dad were well into the woods and I was nervous to yell because I was sure all the fish would scream "swim away" like they do in Finding Nemo. Before I could make a decision,  one of Adam's bobbers started moving back and forth, too! Even if I knew what I was supposed to do with a fishing rod and a 6-foot creature on the end of it, there was no way I could have managed two rods and 12-feet of fish! I yelled...twice. Adam came running only to reel in our lines and find all the bait missing. He did show me earlier in the night what I was supposed to do when I caught something, but amidst the adrenaline and the fear of facing a whiskered fish, I felt that yelling for the guy would work just fine. I never said my adaptation skills included fishing, ok?! I was learning...just at a very slow pace.

Despite the crying cats, cocky cranes and missing catfish, I truly enjoyed my first night fishing trip. Even if you think you're not the outdoor-sy type, you should definitely give it a shot. I learned alot about the techniques behind fishing and that it's not just about throwing some string into water with a worm attached to the end. I learned alot about the way fish "hunt" for their food, that some eat on the bottom of the lake while others prefer eating from the surface. I learned that the two beavers in the lake like to eat catfish and therefore would make it difficult to catch anything. But after everything, I learned why it's called fishing and not catching. 

Ohhh...What to Wear!

Could a routine become interesting through words?  Write about a person (perhaps you) caught up in a daily routine.  Establish a rhythm with the story’s words that impersonates the rhythm of the routine. --Mama Kat


Showered...check.

Shaved...check.

Make-up on...check.

Hair dried...check.

Now to get dressed. The longest process of my morning (sometimes afternoon...) routine.

First and foremost, what color is my eyeshadow today? Brown-ish, gray-ish, or pink-ish...?? Ok, more along the lines of brown-ish...well, sort of tan. What's the name of this eyeshadow?? I must dig through my make-up basket and find out!!!

10 minutes later...

...so no red outfits today.

Nevermind...we'll start with the pants. Or should I wear a skirt? Leggings? What's the weather going to be like today?? I'll just go downstairs, turn on the TV and check the weather...

Wait!! What Not to Wear is on right now?!! Super!! I've never seen this one!

30 minutes later...

So I missed the weather report. Well, it looks like it's going to be nice. I'll choose jeans just in case it gets chilly.

Pants...check.

Now, which jeans??
 
  Dark wash?
   Light wash?
    Straight leg?
       Boot cut?
       
Ok...since the light wash isn't my favorite and I'm having a "fat day" I won't choose the straight leg. By process of elimination I have chosen my dark wash, boot cut jeans.

Now...hhmmmm...what color top?? No navy colors because I don't feel like matching my blues together. No black or gray because my eyeshadow is brownish. Lets do........

uuummmm............white! That's simple. Right??

Now to try on.
   Nope, that ones too see-through. 
     Nuh-uh...that ones too short. 
       Ugh...this one shrunk! 
         No way..that one looks like a hoochie shirt!! 

 15 minutes later...

AAAhhhh....this one looks cute...simple white shirt! Now turn around and make sure you look just as cute going as you do coming!! Yep!! I do!! Now the shoes...

What are my plans today?? I'm not working. I'm not lounging around. I think I'll go and walk around downtown. Yes! My boots!! Perfect!! Tan boots with a slight heel!!

Jewelry...I like gold. Matte gold. Nothing flashy.  Try on several so you don't think about which one you should've worn all day. Ok..I'll wear my gold hoops, long beaded necklace, thick leather watch, gold ring and...that about does it!!

Turning off the radio and checking myself a couple times in the mirror...change my shoes a couple of times until I end up with the same boots I started with.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall...
  Sweater? No.  
    Different earrings? No! 
      Bracelet with the watch? Too much!
        Hair up? Leave it alone!

Just leave already!!!

In the car turning on the radio...dang it!! I forgot perfume!!!

Just Keep Swimming...

You know when life starts to wear you out? I mean to the point where you just grind your teeth and fight your way through the day.  You feel like you walk around like this all the time:

Well, like you, I have days like that. The sound of the gas light reminding you that you don't have gas money. The "you've got mail" man that reminds you of the bills that are due. The ringing of the phone when the credit Nazis are calling you non-stop to let you know that your student loans are still prominent...and collecting interest. Or...the days from years ago that sit in your memory and slowly eat away at your confidence. The people whose voices constantly remind you that you're not worth their time. The anger that consumes your mind and makes you go through the "what if's" and "I should have's." All the things you can't change but somehow still take over your happiness. Everything just seems to stare at you a little like this:

I know...you can't just shake something that size starring back at you. Sometimes I just have to take a deep breath and remind myself that I am doing the best I can with what I have. I'm not living outside of my means. I'm not miserable. I'm not overwhelmed. And although I am happy, I still wonder how I let all those things hypnotize my life for so long...making me feel like this:

Taking on those issues by myself without looking in the right place now makes me so squirmish. I look back and all I can see myself doing is this:

So dumb.

I am finally at the point in my life where I have surrendered the most important aspects of my life to God. Entrusting my job, my relationships, my finances and my future in Him is so freeing. I have forgiven people in my past that have used me, hurt me and tossed me to the side. I don't feel the bitterness that used to manipulate my nights into sleepless hours followed by restless days. I am at peace. God humbled me with the circumstances that were, at first, viewed as obstacles on my "road to success." I eventually realized that life is going to have numerous disappointments...but only I can choose to be discouraged by them. Instead, I want to be stronger. I want to be better. I want to be proud when I look back at those consequences and can say that I learned from them rather than dwelling on them for years. There's no need to live in the past and fearful of the future like this:

Being humbled. Prioritizing my life. Finding my purpose. Surrendering control....probably the most trying time in my life. But...also the sweetest. Things that used to consume my mind and gnaw at my confidence are now the things I push aside. My time isn't worth all the worry. What is it...like, 98% of the things we worry about NEVER happen...geeeeezzeee!!! Even if that statistic is made up I still love it!!  I don't want to keep peeking around the corner because I'm worried like this:

I love living without worry this much!!:

I know that I will make it through the day. No matter how many "dings" or "rings" resound from my electronics I will be patient. As long as I am responsible and do my part in life...I will not be wasting my time with that little guy named "worry." My nights will be well rested followed by enjoyable days. No more "what if's" because it all played out the way it did for a reason. Even if it wasn't in my game plan...I am going to...

        "...just keep swimming..."

        "....just keep swimming..."

               "...just keep swimming...swimming...swimming..."

They're Just Ordinary Days...

Write a Haiku that describes what you love about an ordinary day. -Mama Kat

I am no poet. But I thought this was a great blog topic. So...here's to not making you read my butchered version of Haiku. Cheers!

Here's a few things I love about my ordinary days...

I love waking up and knowing that I have a full day ahead of myself. I can plan my schedule, shape my day and make it what I want it to be. I can lie in bed for a while and think about the daily goals I have set for myself and what I'm going to do to get there.

I love coffee!! Alot of coffee. At any time of the day. For no particular reason and no particular season...I love coffee!

I love getting in the shower and deciding which shampoo, conditioner and body wash I will use that day. "Do I want volumous hair, smooth hair, exfoliating wash or a moisturizing boost?!" These are the types of decisions I can make on my own :)

One thing I have learned to love about the ordinary day is to appreciate a less stressful outlook on life. It seems like the ordinary day used to be so hectic and exhausting. Now, I can literally plan MY day out without having to plan it around someone else. My expectations are enough to please me and I don't have to worry about falling short all the time. Less stress in my ordianary day is wonderful!

Did I mention I love coffee??

I love my ringtones that were specifically chosen for each member of my family and a few of my friends. It makes me giggle every time my dad calls and the Top Gun theme song resounds in my purse :)

I love the drive home from work. Knowing that I can go home, eat a good meal, take off my make-up and cuddle up in sweatpants is such a nice feeling to end the day with.

It's the ordinary things that we all take for granted...but they're also the things that make our days so uniquely sweet.

Holiday Puppies!

This is going to be pretty repetitive for most of you, but for others...I thought you would enjoy this little story.

Right before Christmas, my sister picked up a stray dog on the side of the road and decided that my parents could use one more dog. So, in addition to Shelby, Abby & Libby...they took in Roxy. We were suspicious of her being pregnant seeing that her "bathing suit" parts were looking a bit larger than normal, but we had no idea. It was our first choice to take her to the pound, but we weren't sure if they would put her down to prevent having to take care of puppies...so we kept her.

Needless to say, I got a phone call from my dad one night asking me to come over and help my mom deliver Roxy's puppies. Now, if you know me at all, you know I love my animals and jumped at the opportunity to help. Little did I know, this would be the most national geographic event I would ever experience. Keep in mind that I have no children, I've never experienced a live birth (unless TLC's A Baby Story counts...), and the only time I've dealt with blood was at the hotel in which I 'delegated' to the houseman...so...

I get to the house and find out that Roxy has already had her first puppy! I know!! So exciting!! She was upstairs in our bathroom which is fairly small.  After about an hour of her cleaning off the first puppy, she started pushing again and took it upon herself to walk around the bathroom in the midst of her water breaking. I tried to keep quiet because my mom was asleep but couldn't help repeating "OH MY GOSH...OH MY GOSH!!!!" I had no idea what to do except hold a towel under her you-know-what and catch the puppy before it fell on the ground! It took me a while to figure out what a contraction was in doggy-labor considering my imagination had convinced me that she would be howling for an epidural by the second puppy...thank goodness for Google, right?!

Now, I don't know what I expected these things to look like when they came out, but an alien was not on the list. They are born in this disgusting film-sack that the mother instinctivly 'takes care of' (bless her heart!). So, I guess after the water breaks, puppies naturally just keep popping out...for three more hours! Finally, around 2:00am the next morning Roxy delivered her last puppy. One of the puppies was having a hard time breathing but, thankfully, I watched 101 Dalmations when I was younger and remembered that you're supposed to put them in a towel and rub them until they breathe!! Who would have thought that a Disney movie would save a puppies life :)

Watching their insticts in action was amazing! Roxy constantly licked the puppies while they knew exactly where their food was! She had five puppies that night and I automatically thought that naming them after the holiday they were born on was perfect...Doctor, Martin, Luther, King & Junior had entered the world!!!!

My Personal Bubble is MINE!

I  thought I had seen it all...

working in retail, I've seen my fair share of naked customers. 

While working in the hospitality industry I've seen more than enough...well...dirty everything. Let's just leave it at that. 

I didn't think there was much more that would surprise me. You know, everyone does things differently and sometimes those 'differences' aren't exactly appealing to the rest of society. There's the typical 'interstate nose-pickers' who think their windows are tinted, the guests that stay at your house and leave hair in the drain or the people that chew with their mouths open (bless their hearts...). These things can be dealt with. Daily I suppose. But it's when those unappealing tendencies enter into my personal bubble that cross the line...or may I say...step on my beautifully defined line and smudge it across the ground creating a sense of disorganization in my world that I cannot handle!!

My personal bubble is mine. 

Not yours. 

You may do nothing uncomfortable in my bubble. 

You certainly are not welcome in my bubble if I've never met you before. 

And there is no invitation to stay in my bubble if you see my chest becoming blotchy!

As many of you may know by now, I (finally) got a job as a sales rep for Studio Gear cosmetics!! Yeah...I know...it's super fun! All day, I get to play in make-up and do make-overs with the hopes that I can sell...sell...sell!!! So, the first week into my new job, I meet a lady that is shopping around Ulta with her cute little girl on her hip. I'd say her daughter is about a year and cute as can be! I do the typical "what can I help you find today..." introduction and figure out that she is looking to find some new foundation.

Pause

If you are looking to change your foundation (and possibly everything else in your makeup bag) why in the world would you bring your toddler with you?? 

Resume

"Great!" I say. 

"Let me tell you about Studio Gear's...blah, blah, blah." 

I told her if she has a few minutes, I would be happy to match her and set her up with some new foundation. She agrees and takes a seat at in the chair. 

Now, keep in mind, this is a very busy Saturday afternoon. The first Saturday afternoon I have worked. One of the first women I've done makeup on. And definitely the first toddler sitting in my chair.

I grab all the essentials and proceed to take off her existing makeup and put on the (wonderful) Studio Gear foundation!! Her daughter is giggling and staring at me while I'm leaning over her to reach her mom's face. The next words will sound in my memory for all time...

"...awwhhh, are you hungry sweetie?!?"

Ummm...wait...what!!??? I felt my blood pressure rise and my mind starting racing through the 'steps of how to tastefully deal with unusual situations' lesson I am sure my parents instilled in me years ago. I couldn't find it.

The next thing I know, this lady is pulling her shirt up, popping out her you-know-what and laying her baby down for a feast. Nope, no blanket. Not even an explanation was given as to why she was feeding this child when she wasn't screaming or causing some scene. I mean, on TV the babies are always screaming because they want something...right??? 

So, I am still applying this ladies makeup (quickly I might add) and trying to explain all the great benefits of Studio Gear while she is feeding this child in my bubble, but all I could think about was "do NOT look down!! do NOT look down!!!" Next thing I hear is:

"oohhh...poor baby...nothing on that one?!?"

OH. MY. GOSH.

She continued to unlatch the baby from herself and pop out her other you-know-what as if that one hadn't been feasted on in days!! All I could think about at this point was the sound of the five puppies I was taking care of at my house as they nursed on their mother in such a frenzy! The sucking sound was overtaking every other sound in that store at this point and my focus was so distorted on just looking up, that I completely ignored the 7ish-year-old girl that had (unfortunately) walked down one of the isles to the sight of this bare-chested woman feeding her baby. The look on that girls face was daunting...not as daunting as the one on her mother's face when she realized that was going to be an extremely long car ride home. Bless her heart.

Then, that baby unlatched herself from her mother, looked up at me and smiled. As if she was taunting me! Yes, a toddler can taunt a grown woman! I've seen it...well, heard it...whatever!!! She started it! 

I finished the woman's makeup in enough time to catch my breath and collect myself before passing out. She bought everything I put on her...wait...that sounds bad. I'll re-word that. She bought all the makeup I put on her face while she violated my bubble and drove a stake into my well-defined line of personal space. Much better!

The other girls that I work with were all like "why didn't you walk away" or "you should've asked her to go to the bathroom or something..." Sure. I thought of those things afterwards, but for heaven's sake!!! I was frozen in fear!! I was trying to shut off my senses!! I was blotching all over my chest and neck!! I was certain that the words breast or milk or suck were going to take the place of my innocent lingo brush or silk or pluck!!!

It was all I could do to compose myself!!! Like I said, you 'interstate nose-pickers' can pick away in your cars...but you breast-feeding divas need to back away!!!

A Very Bittersweet Holiday

You don't have to remind me that I could possibly be too old to celebrate Halloween. Nor do you have to remind me that it is a day filled with slutty costumes, unnecessary amounts of yummy candy or another reason for most to get plastered. I know these things and yet I am still super excited about it! Not for any of those reasons though...nuh-uh!



Reason #1:

From my Little Red Riding Hood costume in the 2nd grade to my unfortunate Three Musketeers costume our mom made us three wear in '95...I always loved dressing up like someone else for one day!

College was fun, despite trying to find one whole piece of clothing so I wouldn't have to worry about doing crunches religiously just to look good in my Halloween costume!! I refused to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, French Maid or an Angel...thank goodness! Instead I was...
1. A Cowgirl: very amateur...I know!
2. A Rocker Girl...mini plaid skirt, ripped fishnet stockings, chunky knee-high boots, graphic tee, leather jacket, wacky hair and tons of make-up. Super-fun, but it was put together at the last minute.
3. A Gangster...boooo...my least favorite :( I just felt very unoriginal...
4. A Flapper! My favorite so far...

I loved this costume!

This costume led to my belief that I would have definitely been happy living during these times! Dresses, heels, pearls, feathers, boas...oh, my!! So...this led to my 2009 Halloween costume idea! I absolutely love vintage stuff and have decided that being 24 years old, I'm going for the sexy-sophisticated look. Glamorous.

Now, you don't think I'm going to tell you what it is...do you!?! No way!!! Believe me...there will be tons of pictures...of both me and Payton!!!

Reason #2:

Payton got tickets to see The Roots at the Handlebar on Halloween!!! Yes, that's right...The Roots! Jimmy Fallon's band...listed by Rolling Stone as one of the Top 10 performances to see in 2009...! I'm sooo excited!

    

Granted, they don't look like someone my dad is going to approve of...but I think that means it's going to be awesome! (just kidding daddy...I won't enjoy it at all...).

They're not your typical hip-hop group (thankfully...I don't like all the bling!) Instead, they're famed for beginning with a jazzy, eclectic approach to hip hop which still includes live instrumentals. Yup...a full stage of instruments, hip hop, Payton, and my diva costume! I'm stoked! I plan on being on stage by the end of the night..fully clothed of course...simply just to 'spit lyrics' with the Roots! :) I feel my 15 minutes of fame approaching!

Reason #3:

I thought I would list one thing about Halloween that I HATE!

Haunted houses!!

There is not enough money in the world to bribe me into going to a haunted house...or woods...or cemetery...absolutely nothing! I went to one haunted house (my 1st and last) about 4 years ago and ended up in a fetal position crying my eyes out. Yes, I was in my 20s and the guy with the mask turned the lights on, took off his mask and escorted me out. It took me 2 days to build up the nerve to do it and only 10 minutes to beg for my mother!!!

I'm not sure what it is that I despise about them...it could be the fact that I hate things grabbing me, I hate the dark (especially when you can hear things around you, but there's nothing you can do about it...), children/clowns/midgets/blood/dead people/ghosts/chainsaws terrify me...

I also convince myself that some crazy redneck is going to join the chainsaw actors in the woods and really kill people. Seriously...everyone is told that the chainsaws have no blades...until the redneck joins in for some backyard fun!! I mean...would anyone really know the difference?? Ugh...I would rather watch Saw VXIII in the movie theaters than pay for a ticket and embarrass myself in public...ok...

I'm done!!

Happy Halloween!!

A Quickie

Haha! I bet my parents will read this blog just because of the title! So...because they are reading this I'm going to just tell you about the "quickie" trip to Charleston we went on! Gotcha!

Well, my sister came home for the weekend and ended up getting a sinus infection. Fortunately, I have been able to watch Oprah for the past few weeks (one perk of unemployment) and quickly was able to rule out MRSA and H1N1.  Thank goodness. Anyways, my mom called me Sunday night and asked Payton and I if we would like to drive Katie back to school in Charleston.

Now, if you're not familiar with Charleston, SC...it is beautiful! History. College life. Bars. The Ocean. And most importantly, no Myrtle Beach bimbos walking around...most of the time.

My mom was quick to throw in the long-awaited-privilege to drive my parents Sequoia, a full tank of gas and 40 bucks! COUNT US IN!!! So...we left early Monday morning...raided my mom's car and found her '80s reading glasses. What else are you going to do during a three hour car ride and a camera?

We finally get to Charleston and I become extremely envious of my sister's freshman dorm. The dorm that is a block off King Street and 20 minutes from Folly Beach. The dorm room that has a lock on each individual room and has a full size bed...yes, no twin bed for Katie! Her dorm room is bigger than her room at my parents house! It takes me back to my freshman days...don't get me wrong...I had fun...but seriously! Spartanburg vs Charleston??

 

We went to the beach. I absolutely love the beach this time of year. It's cool, quiet and lacks the July crowd that somehow always throw sand on me when they shake off their towels **shaking my fist angrily in the air***I much rather mingle with September beach crowds :)

The next morning I wake up to the horrible feeling that I have to drive another three hours home, have no money to fill up the gas tank, the meter is running low and Payton is taking pictures. This is the face of an early morning Breean that has to leave the beach and attempt the fateful drive with quarter of a tank...all captured on camera by my loving Payton. 

                                     

Needless to say, two hours after this picture was taken, Payton and I were stranded at a good ol' gas station in Fountain Inn. Left to people watch and attempt a crossword puzzle from the NY Times, I felt my life was over...ten dollars later and a very hungry Payton, we were home!

I love Charleston xoxo

Eight Years Already

For eight years I have dreaded September 11th. Not on a personal basis or even on the basis that I want to seek revenge, but simply because it's human nature to avoid unpleasant events. Unpleasant...that word doesn't even amount to the magnitude of death, destruction, sadness and fear we all watched unravel on September 11, 2001 and the days following. Growing up, everyone spoke about where they were or what they were doing on December 7, 1941 when Pearl Harbor was attacked or when Vietnam became the topic among the media in the '60s, but now our generation remembers 9/11. I remember thinking that there is no way our country would forget about this day or the thousands of innocent American lives that were lost, but it seems we have indeed forgotten the feeling of helplessness that overwhelmed us all. I am no extreme Conservative or zealous Liberal but I seem to find myself somewhere among the moderate crowd. I think every case is different and one rule or law will not answer every question and bring resolution to every incident. But why is it that these uncivilized, ungrateful, fanatical Muslims are given the same rights as the innocent people they murdered? I understand that America is a country founded upon rights and promises to "ensure domestic tranquility" but are we so easily convinced that they won't do this again? Really...?? What about the promise of justice and protecting the general welfare of us? The fighting among the Palestinians and Israelis has been ongoing since biblical times which seems to leave much room for error among those in office who have promised world-peace...my opinion...

I remember being so innocent and unworldly when the first plane struck the World Trade Center. I was a sophomore in high school and heard the news after my mom called to tell me to turn on the TV. "It's probably an accident...someone must have fallen asleep or the controls must have gone crazy..." I said. Then the second plane hit, then the Pentagon, then flight 93...
I was shocked.
Overwhelmed.
Confused.
Disgusted.
Scared.

Being an American should entitle us with the feeling of peace and security...the things that were so
quickly taken away from our generation and have yet to be returned. No one can blame one person for these events and there is certainly not one person that can fix all of the hatred that has consumed those in the Middle East. The only thing, in my opionion, we can do is remember those fallen fire fighters, the courageous passengers on United flight 93, the terrified people in the WTC towers and the Pentagon...and of course all of their families. We cannot forget how we felt when we watched the towers collapse. Nor can we forget all of the men and women who enlisted in the military after these events to protect us from future attacks. These are our responsibilities. To remember...

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Betraying Our Dead 

Cheap. Easy. Fast.

My mom and I have some funny conversations sometimes, but recently we had a good laugh at one in particular. I think it was so funny because my dad was in the car and he didn't find our humor to be quite as amusing. For some reason that makes everything 'funnier.'

I told my sister I would come watch her play at USC a few weeks ago and the only way I could get there was to hitch a ride with the 'parentals.' Don't get me wrong though...I get along great with them as long as I can listen to what I want to on the radio and we don't talk about anything serious. So...I burnt a CD and made a few jokes to lighten the mood. Jokes that lead the conversations away from my current employment status, me and Payton, and my social life...

We started getting hungry and ended up at McDonald's. Yummmy....Anyways, if you know my mom, you know her humor and how she tells jokes. It sometimes reminds me of Merlin (the clown fish) from Finding Nemo..."So there's this mollusk and sea cucumber. The mollusk walks up to the sea cucumber...well he doesn't walk because mollusks don't walk, but in a joke everyone walks and talks...so...let me start over..." Ha! I love her!

While I was enjoying my processed meat and stale french fries my mom turns around and announces...You are what you eat, Breean. Cheap, Fast and Easy! hahah! Have you heard that one before?!?

I laughed at her and saw the expression on my dad's face that looked as if he was going to explode. He doesn't like to hear about anything along those lines when it comes to us girls! So...after becoming familiar with my surroundings...I replied back with...I am certainly not cheap!!

My parents darted their eyes at me followed by a roll of laughter from my mom. My dad glared at me for keeping the joke going but that made my laughter even more uncontrollable! We all know that I'm not easy...or fast...but I wanted to make sure everyone knew that I'm not cheap! I may be poor right now but there is a big difference between being poor versus being cheap.

I will spend my last $20 on those cute BCBG shoes at Ross and then scrounge up another $30 (from the money I shouldn't be spending) to buy the cute outfit that would be lonesome without me and my shoes. I'm telling you...when I become rich and don't have to do anything during the day except shop, I will be Carrie Bradshaw.

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop

Notes to My Younger Self

1. Don't color your hair...I mean it can get expensive!! And very addictive. Only do it when you know you can afford it to prevent getting those redneck roots...very important.

2. Don't pick up a cigarette. You might have an addictive personality and that will be the most difficult thing to quit doing when you are older...and you will regret it forever!

3. Enjoy high school! This is the time in your life when you can go to school with people you've grown up with, you don't have any bills, and you have the whole world ahead of you. There is no time to worry about 'fashion trends' or how much fatter you are than someone else. You will look back at all the pictures you've taken and think to yourself "I was crazy to think that I was fat!!" You will probably never see the majority of these people again so don't waste your time worrying about what they think of you or how popular you are. I won't matter in 4 years!!!!

4. Listen to your parents! There will be times when you think "I am 16 and I know what I'm doing..." but you don't! Don't date the guys your parents hate and don't keep arguing with them. They are your parents...not your BFF's right now. You will come to that stage in your life when your parents are your friends, you DO want to talk to them everyday, and you will seek their advice before you make any decision...seriously...it will happen!

5. Don't give your heart away so easily. You won't find the right person for you until you find out who you are first...and believe me, you won't find this out for a while. It's good to know how it feels when someone likes you and even to know what a broken heart feels like, but make them work for you...you are valuable and worth alot more than you think. God is preparing someone in the world for you and you should save yourself in every way so you can give yourself to him...it will be priceless.

6. Nothing else will hurt like your first heart break. Loving someone comes with consequences sometimes. Just remember you will never hurt like you did the first time your heart was broken. There will be sad times but not like that...you will learn from that moment.

7. Don't get a credit card. You will be paying on that thing until you're in your 20s and frankly you won't be able to afford it...sorry.

8. Don't worry about having tons of girlfriends...most of them will be back stabbers or worthless individuals. There will only be a handful of friends that you will keep in touch with and those are the valuable ones.

9. Take college seriously. Party on the weekends and during the summer. Don't just get a 4-year degree...get an education!

10. Find something you're good at and do it!! If you wait until you're older you will find that a lot of things you could've been talented at are missed opportunities. Don't be embarrassed or think you can do it later in life. Time will fly by and then it's too late...do it now!!

11. Don't bust your butt for minimum wage! Ask for a raise!!! ;) You will be an extremely hard worker that will be very valuable to someone and their business. Just be patient. The right thing will come along.

12. Don't sell your clothes!!! Those things will be back in fashion and you will end up spending money you don't have!!! OMG!!! DON'T SELL THEM!!!!

13. Save your tapes and CDs. You will find them when you are older and they will bring back so many memories. Even the saddest of memories they bring back will make you laugh...'how could I be so sad/upset/angry/worried....??'