My Personal Bubble is MINE!

I  thought I had seen it all...

working in retail, I've seen my fair share of naked customers. 

While working in the hospitality industry I've seen more than enough...well...dirty everything. Let's just leave it at that. 

I didn't think there was much more that would surprise me. You know, everyone does things differently and sometimes those 'differences' aren't exactly appealing to the rest of society. There's the typical 'interstate nose-pickers' who think their windows are tinted, the guests that stay at your house and leave hair in the drain or the people that chew with their mouths open (bless their hearts...). These things can be dealt with. Daily I suppose. But it's when those unappealing tendencies enter into my personal bubble that cross the line...or may I say...step on my beautifully defined line and smudge it across the ground creating a sense of disorganization in my world that I cannot handle!!

My personal bubble is mine. 

Not yours. 

You may do nothing uncomfortable in my bubble. 

You certainly are not welcome in my bubble if I've never met you before. 

And there is no invitation to stay in my bubble if you see my chest becoming blotchy!

As many of you may know by now, I (finally) got a job as a sales rep for Studio Gear cosmetics!! Yeah...I know...it's super fun! All day, I get to play in make-up and do make-overs with the hopes that I can sell...sell...sell!!! So, the first week into my new job, I meet a lady that is shopping around Ulta with her cute little girl on her hip. I'd say her daughter is about a year and cute as can be! I do the typical "what can I help you find today..." introduction and figure out that she is looking to find some new foundation.

Pause

If you are looking to change your foundation (and possibly everything else in your makeup bag) why in the world would you bring your toddler with you?? 

Resume

"Great!" I say. 

"Let me tell you about Studio Gear's...blah, blah, blah." 

I told her if she has a few minutes, I would be happy to match her and set her up with some new foundation. She agrees and takes a seat at in the chair. 

Now, keep in mind, this is a very busy Saturday afternoon. The first Saturday afternoon I have worked. One of the first women I've done makeup on. And definitely the first toddler sitting in my chair.

I grab all the essentials and proceed to take off her existing makeup and put on the (wonderful) Studio Gear foundation!! Her daughter is giggling and staring at me while I'm leaning over her to reach her mom's face. The next words will sound in my memory for all time...

"...awwhhh, are you hungry sweetie?!?"

Ummm...wait...what!!??? I felt my blood pressure rise and my mind starting racing through the 'steps of how to tastefully deal with unusual situations' lesson I am sure my parents instilled in me years ago. I couldn't find it.

The next thing I know, this lady is pulling her shirt up, popping out her you-know-what and laying her baby down for a feast. Nope, no blanket. Not even an explanation was given as to why she was feeding this child when she wasn't screaming or causing some scene. I mean, on TV the babies are always screaming because they want something...right??? 

So, I am still applying this ladies makeup (quickly I might add) and trying to explain all the great benefits of Studio Gear while she is feeding this child in my bubble, but all I could think about was "do NOT look down!! do NOT look down!!!" Next thing I hear is:

"oohhh...poor baby...nothing on that one?!?"

OH. MY. GOSH.

She continued to unlatch the baby from herself and pop out her other you-know-what as if that one hadn't been feasted on in days!! All I could think about at this point was the sound of the five puppies I was taking care of at my house as they nursed on their mother in such a frenzy! The sucking sound was overtaking every other sound in that store at this point and my focus was so distorted on just looking up, that I completely ignored the 7ish-year-old girl that had (unfortunately) walked down one of the isles to the sight of this bare-chested woman feeding her baby. The look on that girls face was daunting...not as daunting as the one on her mother's face when she realized that was going to be an extremely long car ride home. Bless her heart.

Then, that baby unlatched herself from her mother, looked up at me and smiled. As if she was taunting me! Yes, a toddler can taunt a grown woman! I've seen it...well, heard it...whatever!!! She started it! 

I finished the woman's makeup in enough time to catch my breath and collect myself before passing out. She bought everything I put on her...wait...that sounds bad. I'll re-word that. She bought all the makeup I put on her face while she violated my bubble and drove a stake into my well-defined line of personal space. Much better!

The other girls that I work with were all like "why didn't you walk away" or "you should've asked her to go to the bathroom or something..." Sure. I thought of those things afterwards, but for heaven's sake!!! I was frozen in fear!! I was trying to shut off my senses!! I was blotching all over my chest and neck!! I was certain that the words breast or milk or suck were going to take the place of my innocent lingo brush or silk or pluck!!!

It was all I could do to compose myself!!! Like I said, you 'interstate nose-pickers' can pick away in your cars...but you breast-feeding divas need to back away!!!