Some Sayings for Your Amusement

I received an email from my friend with this list of sayings. If you want to get a feeling for how (some) deep southerners express themselves...please read the following!!! Enjoy!!!

He's all hat and no cattle.
If that ain't a fact, God's a possum.
It's so dry, the catfish are carrying canteens.
He's so busy, you'd think he was twins.
He'll squeeze a nickel till Jefferson screams.
So dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
Cold as a cast-iron commode.
She's two sandwiches short of a picnic.
So ugly, she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
Confused as a goat on AstroTurf.
Handy as hip pockets on a hog.
So ugly, his mama takes him everywhere she goes so she doesn't have to kiss him goodbye.
Looks like he sorts bobcats for a living.
So buck-toothed, she could eat corn through a picket fence.
If brains were leather, he couldn't saddle a flea.
That dawg don't hunt.
It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch.
Every now and then, even a blind pig finds an acorn.
Have a cup of coffee, it's already been "saucered and blowed."
She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.
Cute as a sack full of puppies.
My cow died last night so I don't need your bull.
Don't pee down my back and tell me it's raining.
He's as country as cornflakes.
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
This is gooder'n grits.
Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.
If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.
Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits.